|
|
|
| Articles |
|
17 Sundays of Heaven ... by Scotty T. Outside of leap year, there are 365 days in a year, and roughly 52 Sundays. Out of those 52 there are seventeen regular season Sundays in the National Football League. To a football fan and gambler there is no other seventeen days like it in the year. What exactly goes into a perfect NFL Sunday? Well, once again a question as old as the Bengals futility. Here is one man's opinion: These times are central standard, please adjust to the zone you see fit...... 8:30 AM - Arise and feel the anticipation of a blessed NFL Sunday 8:50 AM - Breakfast of all the major food groups is served. Bacon, Sausage, and Bratwurst....... only to be topped off with some Irish coffee. 9:00 AM - Nature calls after a meaty breakfast. 9:20 AM - Arrange fantasy lineup to go up against a hated rival named the Drunk Dawgs, Swine, Killer Clowns, Jizz Moppers, etc.... 9:30 AM - Call local bookie and make multiple wagers on the early games. 9:45 AM - Relax, Ponder, and Think 9:46 AM - Arrange at least three TV's into a simulated sportsbook setting with pseudo stadium seating. 10:15 AM - Relax, Ponder, and Think 10:16 AM - Crack first beer open of the day. Chuckle while saying to no one in particular, "Dammit, its got to be noon somewhere." 10:30 AM - First chicken wing of the day hits the deep fryer. 10:45 AM - Doorbell rings and a few buddies straggle in. 10:46 AM - Wife or significant other leaves 11:00 AM - Pregame show, make fun of Bradshaw 11:15 thru 11:30 AM - More football friends arrive and suddenly there are Playboy magazines everywhere. 11:45 AM - You here someone say, I forgot to place my bet, can you cover me? Noon - KICKOFF!! No man will look another in the eye for fear of seeing a tear of happiness. 12:30 PM - First bet of the day going sour....... More Beer 12:45 PM - Order Pizza's 1:00 PM - Complain how bad your fantasy team is performing....... More Beer 1:15 PM - Argue over who is going to pay for the pizza's 1:30 PM - Half-time equals bathroom...... one guy always ruins it, by taking a crap. 1:45 PM - Put in bets for late games. 2:30 PM - While starting to feel the affects of the beers you start harkening back to your glory days in high school on the gridiron. 3:00 PM - Anticipation of the late games. 3:30 PM - The "Seven Alarm Chili" has burped and is ready to be served. 3:35 PM - Can't feel face from the heat of the chili. 4:00 PM - Make fun of the guy who has got to leave early because his wife told him so.......... 4:30 PM - Brag or complain about the betting activity of the day. 5:00 PM - More Beer 5:30 PM - Tell buddies how you could have ran for 100 yards behind that line. 6:00 PM - Rehash games 6:15 PM - Spouse returns 6:16 PM - Friends leave 6:20 PM - Spouse asks, "What the hell is that smell?" 7:30 PM - Ahhhhh the late game is about to begin, one final wager 8:30 PM - Pass out in front of the TV with a beer in one hand and a chicken wing in the other. That my fellow football fanatics, is an absolutely perfect NFL Sunday. |
|