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Planning the Superbowl Party ... by Scotty T. Well, that time is just about upon us once again. Yes, you guessed it the time honored tradition of planning the perfect Super Bowl party. I don't know about all of you, but to me, the Super Bowl is an adult holiday and should be treated with its due respect. Let's start with the basics, food. Rest assured that you will never and I mean never be asked to host the Super Bowl party again, if you do not provide the needed grub to keep your guests fully gassed up and ready to watch TV. My personal favorite for the occasion is the Buffalo Wing. You will need a couple kinds because normally their are wives and girlfriends present. Stop by the local grocery store and pick up an abundant supply of "Frank's Red Hot." That will be the base of all your sauces. For the women mix equal part Frank's with Bar-B-Que and that should be sufficient. Now, the manly wings should be habenero for the hot and jalapeno for the medium. Please note, wear gloves when dealing with the habanero pepper, and do NOT touch your eyes or go to the bathroom without washing your hands after. Believe me take my word for it, there was an ugly Super Bowl incident of 1999 I would rather not go into. Other staple foods needed are Chili, Fried Cheese, Ham Rolls, and Hot beef sandwiches sprinkled with mozzarella cheese. Let me give you a quick don't in the food area. Invariably, someone's wife or girlfriend will still be sticking to their New Year's resolution to lose weight and will want to bring a veggie tray. If you are the husband or boyfriend of such gal, please put the stop to the veggie tray. If you don't you may just earn the nickname "veggie boy," "vegetarian sympathizer," or even worse "broccoli bringing bastard." Next, on to the beverages of choice. Not too much argument here, two choices beer or lite beer. Lite beer is for the ladies only and I mean only!!!! You don't want to get too cute here and start serving wine, only acceptable if the Niners are playing in the Bowl. Hard liquor is frowned upon as well, basically because this is an all day event and you don't want Uncle Al to be shit faced before gametime and telling you how he "really" feels about you. If you must have children at the event Root Beer is an OK substitute. Gambling, must play a significant roll in the festivities as well. First, it gives guys something to talk about besides the food and beer. Next, in case the game is boring it gives you a reason to stay, drink, and eat with your buddies if an excuse is needed. I advocate picking numbers for quarters, half-time, and finals. That way once again you must stay until the end. Also, throwing some money in and picking names out of a hat as to who will score the first TD is a nice play here as well. Various prop bets can be taken off the Internet too if added ideas are needed. In conclusion here are a couple helpful hints that I have written down over the years. Have separate TV's upstairs and downstairs, this will help separate people who want to watch the game with those who are there to talk and be sociable. Get to know your beer to bathroom ratio so you can time out your breaks not to miss any of the game. This may take some practice, but I think you will find in the long run it is a rewarding experience. If the above rules and suggestions are followed you will be involved in a Super Bowl party that will bring them back next year. |
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